Ladies and gentlemen welcome to tonight’s main event, pitting the show that created it all versus the young and nimble up-and-comer. Let’s keep it clean. No shots below the belt. In case of a knock down, go to the opposite corner. Let’s… get… ready… to rumble!
Each “round” is worth 10 points, with added points for the intangible section, which doesn’t fit into the boxing analogy but I’ve decided to not let it bother me. This is a highly subjective system. One could almost goes as far as saying that this is scientific.
Primary Male Cast
9-0: Brandon Walsh, Dylan McKay, Steve Sanders and David Silver
O.C.: Seth Cohen and Ryan Atwood
No question on this one. Brandon and Dylan made their crazy “big in the front” dos all the rage, sold more lunch boxes than anyone other than Jacko (insert joke about Jacko’s target market here) and tore up, yes, TORE UP, West Beverly and CU. Seth was no one before the Summer/Anna drama. Ryan plays the quiet guy pretty well and he is from Chino, which boasts a prison that once was home to Snoop Dogg, but it’s just not enough. 9-0 has the O.C. on the ropes early. This could get ugly fast folks.
Round one goes to 9-0 by a count of 9 to 1.
Primary Female Cast
9-0: Kelly Taylor, Donna Martin and Valerie Malone
O.C.: Marissa Cooper and Summer Roberts
Without the amazing caterpillar to butterfly transformation experienced by Valerie Malone (aka Kelly Kapowski), this category might not even be a contest. Donna would be a strong contender for the “nepotism at its worst” award and Kelly never was able to harness the potential she showed early on in the show’s 10-year-run.
But, Valerie, what can we say, she pulled off cunning, conniving and evil better than any character in television history. The episode when she “caught” her visiting-from-out-of-town best friend stealing stuff, instantly transforming her image and garnering the trust and respect of her counterparts… that, my friends, was pure genius.
Marissa and Summer, on the other hand, are solid, if unspectacular. Neither of them have any personality, similar to Donna and Kelly. Yet they’ve removed themselves from the pressures of “popular” life, choosing instead a life with the quiet, sensitive bad boy from Chino and the comic book reading geek from next door. That’s got to mean something, right?
This round results in a split decision, 5 to 5.
Family
9-0: Jim and Cindy Walsh
O.C.: Sandy and Kirsten Cohen
The O.C. comes back strong in the third round. I mean, do I even have to explain anything with this one? Jim and Cindy left their kids and moved to Hong Kong. Enough said.
But for the sake of a trip down memory lane… the Walsh’s moved to Beverly Hills, yet still made their son work at a diner and then be a towel boy to pay for a crappy Mustang. Jim was the money manager for a known mobster, yet was always giving Brandon and Brenda advice on being good human beings. Cindy was a bit to June Cleaver for a show set in Southern California in the 90s.
Sandy, on the other hand, took Seth and Ryan to Vegas and was cool enough to let them play poker and bring four hookers to their penthouse at the Hard Rock. Kirsten is an automatic inductee into the Hottest Moms in Television Hall of Fame.
The O.C. completely dominates in this round, 10 to 0.
Intermission with the O.C. experiencing a scant 17 to 15 lead.
Contact El Duderino at jaipf@hotmail.com.
Friday, April 30, 2004
Thursday, April 29, 2004
The NCAA Does Something Right?
Okay, well this topic is probably a few weeks past its shelf life, but hey, I didn’t have a forum to express opinions back then.
If you watched the NCAA men’s basketball tourney, then you likely saw at least a hundred commercials highlighting the fact that there are TENS OF THOUSANDS of students participating in NCAA athletics. Although the actual commercials left a little something to be desired, they make an important point.
For some reason, sports journalists and columnists have made it something of a cause the past several years to talk about how unfortunate college athletes are because they’re not being paid, yet no one ever talks about what it would really mean to pay these athletes. Do we only pay basketball and football players? Do we only pay the handful of players that actually have the talent to play the sport professionally?
Does the NFL benefit from the NCAA? Yes. Does that mean that the whole NCAA system that provides a free education (or at least a reduction in cost) to tens of thousands of athletes is flawed? No.
Now clearly the NCAA has a thousand unbelievably moronic rules in place (such as not allowing athletes to have jobs or the Jeremy Bloom case in which the NCAA won’t allow the athlete to receive endorsement money from skiing and modeling), but providing an education to thousands of students is not one of them.
Contact El Duderino (I'm NOT into the whole brevity thing) at jaipf@hotmail.com.
If you watched the NCAA men’s basketball tourney, then you likely saw at least a hundred commercials highlighting the fact that there are TENS OF THOUSANDS of students participating in NCAA athletics. Although the actual commercials left a little something to be desired, they make an important point.
For some reason, sports journalists and columnists have made it something of a cause the past several years to talk about how unfortunate college athletes are because they’re not being paid, yet no one ever talks about what it would really mean to pay these athletes. Do we only pay basketball and football players? Do we only pay the handful of players that actually have the talent to play the sport professionally?
Does the NFL benefit from the NCAA? Yes. Does that mean that the whole NCAA system that provides a free education (or at least a reduction in cost) to tens of thousands of athletes is flawed? No.
Now clearly the NCAA has a thousand unbelievably moronic rules in place (such as not allowing athletes to have jobs or the Jeremy Bloom case in which the NCAA won’t allow the athlete to receive endorsement money from skiing and modeling), but providing an education to thousands of students is not one of them.
Contact El Duderino (I'm NOT into the whole brevity thing) at jaipf@hotmail.com.
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
Dump Kerry?
Several articles in respected, generally liberal publications (Slate and the Village Voice being two examples), have begun to raise the possibility that the distinguished Senator from Massachusetts could be kicked to the curb prior to the upcoming presidential election -- a truly unprecedented occurrence. In fact, Slate columnist Mickey Kaus wasn’t even quite sure that the feat is even possible.
I guess the theoretical dumping of Kerry is a good thing, despite the fact that I had finally come to terms with supporting Kerry on the sole premise that anyone other than Bush (and Nader) would be a step in a positive direction. In hindsight it’s a bit amusing that Kerry was considered the most “electable” of the candidates, despite the Democrats clearly needing a leader who could provide a consistent message. Saying Kerry is consistent is like saying that Idaho is a tropical getaway.
The big question, though, is who could even possibly replace Kerry at this late stage? It would seem odd, to say the least, to replace Kerry with any of the previous candidates, who lost in the primary season. Tim Russert of Meet The Press grilled Hilary Clinton a number of months ago, prior to it being apparent that Kerry would be the elected nominee, about this exact situation. Hilary didn’t lend any support to the idea that she could pull a coup at the Democratic convention, but she didn’t exactly deny the possibility either. Either way, great foresight shown by Russert, demonstrating why Meet the Press is clearly the premier Sunday morning political show of the major networks.
http://www.villagevoice.com/issues/0417/mondo1.php
http://slate.msn.com/id/torch
I guess the theoretical dumping of Kerry is a good thing, despite the fact that I had finally come to terms with supporting Kerry on the sole premise that anyone other than Bush (and Nader) would be a step in a positive direction. In hindsight it’s a bit amusing that Kerry was considered the most “electable” of the candidates, despite the Democrats clearly needing a leader who could provide a consistent message. Saying Kerry is consistent is like saying that Idaho is a tropical getaway.
The big question, though, is who could even possibly replace Kerry at this late stage? It would seem odd, to say the least, to replace Kerry with any of the previous candidates, who lost in the primary season. Tim Russert of Meet The Press grilled Hilary Clinton a number of months ago, prior to it being apparent that Kerry would be the elected nominee, about this exact situation. Hilary didn’t lend any support to the idea that she could pull a coup at the Democratic convention, but she didn’t exactly deny the possibility either. Either way, great foresight shown by Russert, demonstrating why Meet the Press is clearly the premier Sunday morning political show of the major networks.
http://www.villagevoice.com/issues/0417/mondo1.php
http://slate.msn.com/id/torch
Taking One for the Team
A shout out goes to the Chargers for not letting the “first family of football” change the meaning of the word draft. Sure, the Manning’s were successful in reaching the Gotham City, but at what price?
There would seem to be two primary reasons for the ultimatum: to play for a winning team and exposure to a larger market.
The Giants are clearly more than a single player away from being an elite NFL team. They have no offensive line, aging skill players, and a defense that was 22nd in the league in total defense in 2003. The Giants draft did little to address those problems. Kerry Collins was not the problem on the Giants last season.
Further, it’s now becoming clear that the Giants are planning on throwing Eli directly into the fire. Although it’s debatable what the long-term effects are of starting rookie quarterbacks, the short-term impact is very clear -- a long season full of losses. As many teams have shown, losing is not the worst thing in the world short-term if a roadmap has been determined. But, because the Giants traded their 2005 first round pick to the Chargers as part of the deal, a pick that is likely to be in the top 10 with Eli starting, they have little means to improve through the draft. Doh!
Now, there’s still the larger market issue, which would assumedly provide young Eli with “the necessary means, the necessary means” for the almighty endorsement money. But, wait, hold on a second. In the wonderful world of marketing, all exposure is not necessarily good exposure.
Brands typically want their companies and organizations represented by winners and those athletes who are well liked throughout the country. The Manning’s single-handedly infuriated all those not wearing the NFL Football Giants blue and white. Did you hear the boos at the Garden theatre on Sunday? Those won’t be the last. I’m guessing that Eli’s agent isn’t exactly being overwhelmed with calls this week.
I’ll leave the “why the hell would anyone choose Northern Jersey over San Diego!?!” question for another time. Seriously. Maybe AJ Smith should’ve sent Eli a few pictures of the turnpike and the Meadowlands during the pre-draft negotiation period.
Sold to the man in the funny hat.
There would seem to be two primary reasons for the ultimatum: to play for a winning team and exposure to a larger market.
The Giants are clearly more than a single player away from being an elite NFL team. They have no offensive line, aging skill players, and a defense that was 22nd in the league in total defense in 2003. The Giants draft did little to address those problems. Kerry Collins was not the problem on the Giants last season.
Further, it’s now becoming clear that the Giants are planning on throwing Eli directly into the fire. Although it’s debatable what the long-term effects are of starting rookie quarterbacks, the short-term impact is very clear -- a long season full of losses. As many teams have shown, losing is not the worst thing in the world short-term if a roadmap has been determined. But, because the Giants traded their 2005 first round pick to the Chargers as part of the deal, a pick that is likely to be in the top 10 with Eli starting, they have little means to improve through the draft. Doh!
Now, there’s still the larger market issue, which would assumedly provide young Eli with “the necessary means, the necessary means” for the almighty endorsement money. But, wait, hold on a second. In the wonderful world of marketing, all exposure is not necessarily good exposure.
Brands typically want their companies and organizations represented by winners and those athletes who are well liked throughout the country. The Manning’s single-handedly infuriated all those not wearing the NFL Football Giants blue and white. Did you hear the boos at the Garden theatre on Sunday? Those won’t be the last. I’m guessing that Eli’s agent isn’t exactly being overwhelmed with calls this week.
I’ll leave the “why the hell would anyone choose Northern Jersey over San Diego!?!” question for another time. Seriously. Maybe AJ Smith should’ve sent Eli a few pictures of the turnpike and the Meadowlands during the pre-draft negotiation period.
Sold to the man in the funny hat.
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