You Stay Classy, San Diego. I'm Ron Burgundy?

Anderson Cooper is considered one of the better TV journalists.

I have a conspiracy theory that The Daily Show and Colbert Report are funding the broadcast news industry just so they have jokes. Kind of like when Tim Watley converted to Judaism for the jokes. That theory is the only thing that keeps me from vomiting every time I unwittingly watch broadcast news.

Evidently some news outlet ran a story that Barack Obama went to school at a fundamentalist Islam school when he was like 6. Tonight Anderson Cooper set the story straight… by sending a reporter to Jakarta… to visit the school where Barack Obama went to school when he was 6… 40 years ago! You know, because the reporter can find all kinds of sources to confirm or deny the presence of a young Barack Obama 40 years ago.

Not only was the whole thing absolutely ridiculous but Anderson Cooper ended the segment by getting all high and mighty, “other news agencies report news. We check facts in person.” Shoot me now.

Headline quote movie of origin: Anchorman

Character: Ron Burgundy

Setting: Ron Burgundy, star anchor of the Channel 4 news team, has dedicated himself to the art of the spoken word. He’s the master and kind of a big deal. He has many leather bound books and his apartment smells of rich mahogany. However, every superhero has a weakness. Superman and kryptonite. Mighty Mouse and cheese. Silver Surfer and global warming. Ron Burgundy’s weakness? A literal and perfect reading of the teleprompter.

The quote is relevant to this story how?: The Channel 4 News team is from a bygone era. A time when broadcast news delivered hard hitting stories that kept the world on its toes… stories like Panda Watch: the birth of Ling Ching.

Contact El Duderino at jaipf@hotmail.com.

She Was a Hip, Hip Lady, Man

The federal government’s crackdown of online gambling continues with the arrest this week of two former directors of a popular transaction service called Neteller. I just don’t get the government’s fascination with online gambling.

A person can go to nearly any shady, rundown boulevard in nearly any city in the Seattle area and bet to their hearts content. I’d imagine it’s the same in other places nationwide. Poker’s hype cycle seems to be over but you can still watch OTHER people play poker for large sums of money pretty much any late night. The American public clearly could give a rat’s ass about gambling.

So the government’s crackdown seems to be purely motivated by the fact they’re not profiting through tax dollars. There’s an easy solution… make online gambling legal and tax the bejeezus out of it. There’s your deficit reduction strategy right there, G-dub.

Headline quote movie of origin: Dazed and Confused

Character: Slater

Setting: There’s a party at the moon tower. Slater, the weed seller guy and the weed seller guy’s girlfriend are discussing the principles of our Nation’s founding fathers. The quote of record is in reference to Martha Washington, who in the eyes of Slater was a hip, hip lady.

The quote is relevant to this story how?: According to Slater, our founding fathers recognized the value of cash crops, some of which are now considered illegal. Gambling certainly falls into the same bucket as the greens, of which our first President was evidently a grower of. Didja ever look at a dollar bill, man? There's some spooky shit goin' on there. And it's green too.

Contact El Duderino at jaipf@hotmail.com.

I promise, that one day, everything's going to be better for you

I was still but a twinkle in my parent’s eyes during the Vietnam conflict and admittedly have only a basic understanding of all the ins and outs of that time period. But, I believe the high-level theme of America’s involvement was to stop communism from spreading in the region. America lost… but did the world?

What seems to be missing in all of the political conversation surrounding the decision of whether or not to bring home troops from Iraq is what we’re actually trying to achieve and if America is truly the best entity to satisfy that goal. All of the original aims outlined by Bush have proven to be completely baseless and false. Is our sole objective now simply to stop the country from complete anarchy and to prevent a Taliban-style government from assuming control?

If that really is the new goal, are American troops on the ground really the means to that end? The people of Iraq, the countries of the Middle East, and hell, the rest of the world, all have a pretty big stake in the final outcome of Iraq. It’s not just an American problem. I get the sense that the rest of the world just wants to give America a big “told you so” before taking a more active role in helping to put the necessary political pressures to help Iraq eventually succeed. That’s not to say a withdrawal will solve the immediate problems. It won’t. But those problems are going to exist with or without an occupying American force.

While a withdrawal will undoubtedly hurt our bloated egos, if a positive outcome is eventually achieved, like Vietnam, than ultimately the world has won. That should be the goal, not proving that we’re the biggest and baddest.

Headline Quote Movie of Origin: Donnie Darko

Character: Donnie Darko

Setting: Donnie and Cherita Chen, the butt of much schoolhouse ridicule, find themselves alone in a hallway. Cherita, wearing earmuffs, is speechless, given her ginormous crush on Donnie. Donnie whispers into her ear that everything is going to be okay.

The quote is relevant to this story how?: Our country has an arrogance that we can solve any and all of the world’s dilemmas. While the current unrest is largely of our doing, it’s certainly likely that it’s a problem we won’t be able to solve. However, just as Donnie reassured Cherita, eventually the world seems to right itself. Everything is going to be okay. I hope…

Contact El Duderino at jaipf@hotmail.com.

My name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents

It's about friggin time they put Seinfeld on DVD, if only three seasons for the time being. As a kickoff, here's a link to a top 10 sports-based moments list in Seinfeld history.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page3/story?page=katcher/sports_seinfeld

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No, Donny, these men are nihilists. There's nothing to be afraid of.

It would be very un-Dude for this site not to at least make a mention of the recent Artestian affair in Detroit. The story has been covered from just about every angle, so ED doesn't really have anything unique to add. But, of all the articles, two sum up the incident perfectly, one from Slate and one from the Sports Guy (links below).

To summarize those articles with a few thoughts from ED... this isn't the sign that the end days are upon us and that the NBA is on its last stand. No one died. No one even got seriously injured. The NBA ratings will go up from this incident, not down. Pistons fans are a bunch of meathead idiots but doesn't this show that the NBA does have passionate fans, not the opposite?

Artest officially has an anger problem. You could almost see him trying to hold himself back after the initial fracas with Ben Wallace. Then after he initially tackled Corey Haim in the stands and realized what he did, you could see him try to reel in the devil on his shoulder urging him to kill someone… “ronny, see that guy over there with the black shirt. He said your momma dresses you in combat boots. Rip his head off. Do it. Do it.” Then after he lost it again a few seconds later after getting hit from behind…

(quick digression, the guy that hit Artest from behind was the same guy who threw the first cup at Artest, thus starting Smackdown at the Palace 2005. This guy is on tape throwing the cup. It's not really up for debate. Anyhow, this guy had a moustache or some sort of facial hair during the game and was wearing a hat. He held a press conference yesterday in which he basically said that he didn't do anything and wasn't involved. At the press conference, he shaved off his facial hair, took off the hat, was wearing sunglasses and had on an ‘I’m guilty’ leather coat... very Dr. Richard Kimble of him).

… he went berserk for a few more minutes before the angel on the left shoulder again took over the devil on the right shoulder. Once again, he retreats to his happy place (think midgets playing horsey on broomsticks and lovely ladies sipping pina coladas on lawn chairs) before a chubby wannabe tough guy with a Pistons jersey and gold chain confronts Ronny on the court. Artest gives the guy a Mr. Sandman right hook. Game over. While it was nice that Artest showed several moments of restraint in the whole affair, what it really showed is that at the base soul of Ron Artest is a raging lunatic.

Slate… http://slate.com/id/2110079/.
Sports Guy… http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/cowbell/041122

Headline Quote Movie of Origin: The Big Lebowski
Character: Walter Sobchak
Setting: The nihilists have come to collect from The Dude the million dollars they’ve been promised by Bunny Lebowski. The Dude explains that there never was a million dollars and that they’d been had. This doesn’t seem to deter the nihilist and they decide to take physical actions to rob The Dude, Walter and Donny.
The quote is relevant to this story how?: The ensuing melee that erupts between the nihilists (we believe in nothing, Lebowski) and The Dude and friends is eerily similar to Smackdown at the Palace 2005, minus the basketball players, fans, television monitors and pepper spray. Oh, and no one died at Smackdown at the Palace. But otherwise it was quite similar.

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The Latest Prisoner Mistake

As some of you may have seen, there has been widespread coverage the last few days of a Marine being taped shooting a seemingly unarmed and wounded insurgent in Fallujah. As with the Abu Ghraib scandal, there has been commentary from all sides; those denouncing the brutality of the supposedly “moral” American forces to those saying that it was irresponsible and anti-American for the American media to show such a video.

Whatever your opinion, the article located at the following link is a must read. It’s the account and reasoning of the journalist who filmed the incident. Give it a go… http://www.kevinsites.net/2004_11_21_archive.html#110107420331292115.

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I Play, Coach Stays. He Goes, I Go

New rule: NBA players that are paid “max” salaries aren’t allowed to requests trades because the team is performing poorly.

The NBA has a salary cap that basically allows NBA franchises to pay two players exceptionally large salaries, while the rest receive “paltry” pay in the low millions per year. As such, teams and owners that pay a player the maximum salary afforded under the rules of the league’s collective bargaining agreement are staking the success of their franchise on those two players to act as leaders and to make the team successful.

In the past year, there has arisen an alarmingly annoying habit of these max players demanding to be traded because the team is performing poorly. Guess what Baron Davis? You’re the reason the team is terrible!

Tracy McGrady, he of two league scoring titles and max pay, demanded and received a trade because the team he was supposedly leading finished in last place in the entire league. Vince Carter, he of only 180 games played out of a possible 250 in the past three years, demanded a trade because the team couldn’t make the playoffs. Baron Davis, he of a lifetime 41 percent shooting percentage and a barely 2-to-1 assist to turnover ratio, demanded a trade because the team wasn’t active in the free agent market. Guess what Einstein, you’re the reason the team doesn’t have any money to spend on free agents!

NBA players need to become responsible for their actions. If you’re making max money, then you ARE the franchise. Instead of complaining, figure out a way to make the players around you better. Teams like the Milwaukee Bucks, Utah Jazz and Memphis Grizzlies have proved that hard work and team play trumps individual talent. It is after all a team sport.

Headline Quote Movie of Origin: Hoosiers (two in a row for Hoosiers!)
Character: Jimmy Chitwood
Setting: Upon a rough start to the season, a town meeting is called to debate whether or not to fire newly appointed coach Normal Dale. As the votes are being tallied, reclusive playground legend Jimmy Chitwood steps to the podium and delivers a real tearjerker of a speech that consists of a total of eight words… “I play, coach stays. He goes, I go.” A re-vote takes place, coach stays and the rest is history my friends.
The quote is relevant to this story how?: Jimmy Chitwood put the team on his back and despite a roughshod supporting cast of characters, took his team where no small town team had ever been. Although not a vocal leader, he led with actions. No one -- I repeat NO ONE – came off screens better than Jimmy Chitwood, yet he still gave up the rock to his teammates. Jimmy even passed the ball to Ollie the runt. The Steve Francis’ and Baron Davis’ of the world could learn a lesson or two from Jimmy.

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First of All, Let’s be Real Friendly Here, Okay? My Name is Norm. Secondly, Your Coaching Days Are Over

While ED is clearly not very excited about the results of the recent election, it’s been a breath of fresh air to hear politicians speak like human being’s again and not like wind up dolls. It was becoming increasingly difficult to find any motivation to write as the media coverage consisted of the same 10 soundbites being replayed over and over and over and over and…

Over.

Now we can concentrate on ideas again and not on trying to convince everyone else why they’re wrong. Everyone let out a loud “Dean-esque” yelp. It’ll make you feel better, promise.

“We’re going to South Carolina and Oklahoma and Arizona and North Dakota and New Mexico. We’re going to California and Texas and New York!”

Anyhow, back to business. What this country needs is a truly relevant third party. Although it’s not likely to happen anytime soon, a legitimate case can be made as to why the moderates on both sides of the aisle should join hands and kick the extremes of each party to the curb.

As written in a previous post, there are three divergent views in the GOP currently; those of the religious right, those of moderate Republicans and those of traditional, policy-minded conservative Republicans. The religious right as a group share very little actual policy belief with the moderate and conservative portion of the GOP.

The religious right is defined simply by the belief that the strict moral code defined by the Bible should also be the moral code for all of society. If the roles were reversed and the Democratic Party was in favor of Biblical views and the GOP was in favor of abortion and gay marriage rights, ED has no doubt that the religious right would’ve voted Democratic. That’s to say that economic and foreign policy and other similar matters aren’t the top issues for that voting segment. In fact, it seems that the religious right SHOULD be more aligned with Democrats other than two or three key issues. Granted they’re fairly significant key issues.

Anyhow, the moderates and conservatives clearly share many of the same values in regards to the federal government having less of a role in society. There’s clearly a popular and sizable portion of the GOP that isn’t that far removed from much of the Clinton-era Democrats, who also believed in the reduction of government, a global economy and that government shouldn’t be involved in ALL aspects of a person’s life, not just those relating to taxes and property rights.

Although I have no idea of the numbers, it would be interesting to see what would happen if Bush continues to alienate guys like John McCain and Chuck Hegel. I think McCain has the popularity and the respect of enough people on both sides of the aisle, and in the public-at-large, to throw an enormous wrench into American politics by creating a bond with moderate Democrats and forming a third-party.

As the Sports Guy would say, “this needs to happen.”

Headline Quote Movie of Origin: Hoosiers
Character: Norman Dale
Setting: Upon entering his first practice at Hickory High, new head coach Norman Dale finds George running drills. He’s not enthused. Upon telling George that his coaching days are over arises the best line of the movie… “Look, mister, there’s…. two kinds of dumb, uh… guy that gets naked and runs out in the snow and barks at the moon, and, uh, guy who does the same thing in my living room. First one don’t matter, the second one you’re kinda forced to deal with.” Take THAT Norman Dale. But, Normy got the last laugh when his team of small town hicks pulled the greatest upset of all-time by winning the Indiana boys basketball championship. Cue tear dripping down cheek.
The quote is relevant to this story how?: The third-party system outlined by ED is about enacting system-bending reform. It would be unprecedented and would only result from a truly awful time in our history… one that many anti-Bush citizens can envision. The story of coach Norman Dale, he of lifetime banishment from college athletics, being united with the doormat Hoosiers of Hickory High, is of a similar situation.

If anyone reads a story speaking to the need for a third party system, particularly resulting from the recent election, please send it ED's way. Thanks!

Contact El Duderino at jaipf@hotmail.com.

Was It Over When the Germans Bombed Pearl Harbor?

While all is clearly not positive for the 47ish percent of the country that voted for “not” Bush, there is still hope for those opposed to Bush policy. That hope comes in the form of moderate and truly conservative Republicans.

Despite Bush’s resounding victory, there’ve been quiet murmurs of dissent within the traditionally conservative wing of the Republican Party (traditional conservatives are categorized as such because of foreign policy and economic theory viewpoints, not due to religious and moral views) concerning the enormous deficits and the levels of spending resulting from the federal government since Bush has taken office.

Separately, the moderate base that the administration rolled out at the RNC is clearly opposed to the “moral values” campaign that was at the center of a large block of the Bush voting base.

While those two groups needed to be supportive of Bush doctrine in the past four years in order to maintain control of the White House and Congress, now that they’ve succeeded what’s the point in supporting policy that stands in stark contrast to personal beliefs? Only one day after the election, Arlen Specter, a Republican Senator from Pennsylvania, warned Bush of pushing forward Supreme Court nominees that would favor repealing abortion.

If those two portions of the Republican Party continue to let Bush walk all over them, well, maybe Canada isn’t too bad of an option.

Headline Quote Movie of Origin: Animal House
Character: Bluto Blutarski
Setting: Upon finding out that Dean Wormer was expelling the whole fraternity, Bluto gives a pep talk to rally the house, including the not so factually accurate reference to the US fighting back after Pearl Harbor. The speech resulted in the Delta house rallying and making their mark on the Faber College homecoming parade.
The quotes is relevant to this story how?: While many are feeling disenfranchised from the result of the election, there’s still hope! As Bluto demonstrated, life is what you make it and it’s all a matter of perspective. Sure, Bush isn’t ideal for many, but the Republican Party is much more than just Bush and hopefully alternative viewpoints will still be heard.

Contact El Duderino at jaipf@hotmail.com.

Two Nations Under God

I’ve got to many thoughts and ideas floating around my head about the election, and unfortunately, not enough time to pull those thoughts into any sort of cohesive story. So, stay tuned for the Post-Election El Duderino, which will continue with original content and I’m sure lots of “what this means” for America thoughts.

In the meantime, the following snippet from a Thomas Friedman (columnist with the New York Times) article conveys the exact sentiments I think many are feeling today (and yesterday). This wasn’t an election about policy, it was an election about ideals and how government fits into that equation. For those of us on the wrong side of the overwhelming majority, it’s quite the hit in the stomach.

Two Nations Under God
Thomas Friedman
http://nytimes.com/2004/11/04/opinion/04friedman.html?hp

I often begin writing columns by interviewing myself. I did that yesterday, asking myself this: Why didn't I feel totally depressed after George H. W. Bush defeated Michael Dukakis, or even when George W. Bush defeated Al Gore? Why did I wake up feeling deeply troubled yesterday?

Answer: whatever differences I felt with the elder Bush were over what was the right policy. There was much he ultimately did that I ended up admiring. And when George W. Bush was elected four years ago on a platform of compassionate conservatism, after running from the middle, I assumed the same would be true with him. (Wrong.) But what troubled me yesterday was my feeling that this election was tipped because of an outpouring of support for George Bush by people who don't just favor different policies than I do - they favor a whole different kind of America. We don't just disagree on what America should be doing; we disagree on what America is.

Is it a country that does not intrude into people's sexual preferences and the marriage unions they want to make? Is it a country that allows a woman to have control over her body? Is it a country where the line between church and state bequeathed to us by our Founding Fathers should be inviolate? Is it a country where religion doesn't trump science? And, most important, is it a country whose president mobilizes its deep moral energies to unite us - instead of dividing us from one another and from the world?

At one level this election was about nothing. None of the real problems facing the nation were really discussed. But at another level, without warning, it actually became about everything. Partly that happened because so many Supreme Court seats are at stake, and partly because Mr. Bush's base is pushing so hard to legislate social issues and extend the boundaries of religion that it felt as if we were rewriting the Constitution, not electing a president. I felt as if I registered to vote, but when I showed up the Constitutional Convention broke out.

The election results reaffirmed that. Despite an utterly incompetent war performance in Iraq and a stagnant economy, Mr. Bush held onto the same basic core of states that he won four years ago - as if nothing had happened. It seemed as if people were not voting on his performance. It seemed as if they were voting for what team they were on.

This was not an election. This was station identification. I'd bet anything that if the election ballots hadn't had the names Bush and Kerry on them but simply asked instead, "Do you watch Fox TV or read The New York Times?" the Electoral College would have broken the exact same way.

My problem with the Christian fundamentalists supporting Mr. Bush is not their spiritual energy or the fact that I am of a different faith. It is the way in which he and they have used that religious energy to promote divisions and intolerance at home and abroad. I respect that moral energy, but wish that Democrats could find a way to tap it for different ends.

"The Democrats have ceded to Republicans a monopoly on the moral and spiritual sources of American politics," noted the Harvard University political theorist Michael J. Sandel. "They will not recover as a party until they again have candidates who can speak to those moral and spiritual yearnings - but turn them to progressive purposes in domestic policy and foreign affairs."

I've always had a simple motto when it comes to politics: Never put yourself in a position where your party wins only if your country fails. This column will absolutely not be rooting for George Bush to fail so Democrats can make a comeback. If the Democrats make a comeback, it must not be by default, because the country has lapsed into a total mess, but because they have nominated a candidate who can win with a positive message that connects with America's heartland.

Meanwhile, there is a lot of talk that Mr. Bush has a mandate for his far right policies. Yes, he does have a mandate, but he also has a date - a date with history. If Mr. Bush can salvage the war in Iraq, forge a solution for dealing with our entitlements crisis - which can be done only with a bipartisan approach and a more sane fiscal policy - upgrade America's competitiveness, prevent Iran from going nuclear and produce a solution for our energy crunch, history will say that he used his mandate to lead to great effect. If he pushes for still more tax cuts and fails to solve our real problems, his date with history will be a very unpleasant one - no matter what mandate he has.

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We're Screwed

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Random Thought of the Week

Is it a coincidence that we haven't received a "color-coded" terror alert since the administration took a lot of heat several months ago for using the alerts for political gain?

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We Could Hire Our Own Midget, Even Shorter Than His

Thank god those are over. While ED enjoyed the first debate (probably b/c Kerry had a good showing) the final two presidential debates and the vice presidential debate accomplished absolutely nothing. Both candidates are taking quotes completely out of context, exaggerating claims and are accusing the other of charges that are just not accurate.

The one positive is that if a person is able to dedicate enough time to reading a wide variety of media outlets, along with listening to the candidates’ rhetoric, a picture can be derived of what exactly the differences are between the two candidates.

Bush believes that the only way to rid the world of terrorism is to forcefully push democratic ideals on those in predominantly Muslim nations, with Iraq being the first such encounter. Kerry believes that the use of force will only stand to further agitate the Muslim world, so we need to secure the nation domestically while searching for less aggressive means to reduce the risk of terrorism. That’s not to say Bush isn’t securing the domestic front as well, but a fairly solid argument could be made that the $120 billion spent in Iraq to date could have been much more wisely used securing our ports, energy facilities, bridges, tunnels, etc.

Bush believes that providing large tax breaks to corporate America and the wealthy will result in those entities and individuals spending more money, which will eventually lead to growth. Kerry believes in a nation that has a smaller margin between the nation’s richest and poorest and that America’s middle class has enough spending power to charge the economy. Bush has no concern for the deficit and believes that we can spend our way out of it by increasing revenues and thus increasing tax dollars. Kerry believes that growth can be better managed by cutting the deficit and reducing the highs and lows in the economy by maintaining fiscal responsibility.

Bush believes in an “ownership society” in which every American is fully responsible for managing their own healthcare, retirement, etc. Kerry believes that’s a recipe for disaster because large chunks of society would be left at risk in the case of a stock market correction, such as that which happened early in this century, or for the millions of Americans which have not had access to adequate education or economic means.

To ED, when you boil it all down, Bush is for aggressive actions that have the potential for big gains, but also have the potential for catastrophe. Kerry is for moderation, with a view that our nation has been highly successful and that small modifications should be made to existing programs, not complete transformations.

Headline Quote Movie of Origin: Oh Brother Where Art Thou
Character: Pappy O’Daniel campaign staff member
Setting: Pappy O’Daniel, the incumbent governor of Mississippi, is getting trounced in the polls at the hands of a populist candidate whose utilizing a midget to sweep away the corruption of the current regime. Pappy’s staff, running out of ideas, suggests that they get their own midget, but this one shorter than the competition… “We could hire our own midget, even shorter than his.”
The quote is relevant to this story how?: The campaign from both parties has turned in to which candidate can demonstrate the shorter midget. No longer is policy the central theme (although it probably was never the central theme), but instead who can succeed best at one-upping the opponent with a sound bite that’s not relevant or accurate.

Contact El Duderino at jaipf@hotmail.com.

Quote of the Day

"We threw everything but the kitchen sink at the economy. But, you've got to believe there's a Santa Claus to believe there's no cost for the gifts under the tree."
Diane C. Swonk, chief economist at the Bank One Corporation in Chicago, referring to the Bush administration's spending ways

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Debate Thoughts III

The Bush team is in full attack and spin mode post G-Dub’s abysmal showing last week. The crux of the messaging, that Kerry is soft on terror because he sees the need for international support, isn’t new, but it’s definitely become the central anti-Kerry theme. Dare I say that it’s replaced “mixed message” and “flip-flopper”?

I just don’t get the reasoning behind this attack. But if the Bush administration has shown us anything in the past four years, it’s that nearly any message can be communicated and accepted by the general public if that message is repeated enough times. The “liberal” media was and continues to be a primary driver in the Bush communication machine, having been primarily responsible for the labeling of Kerry as a flip-flopper, when in reality Bush has been just as guilty, if not moreso, of changing course on a number of topics.

Anyhow, back to the point, can someone explain to ED why it’s a negative that Kerry believes the international community should be used as a litmus test? Afghanistan is a perfect example. The administration asked for and presented compelling evidence that suggested Afghanistan was harboring terrorists. By convincing and working through the international community, all parties were happy and the interim results were exceedingly successful, at least until we lost focus.

Bush is presenting this view of the world as being completely anti-American and adversarial, which just isn’t the case (or at least it wasn’t until he took the helm). The fact is that other Westernized countries are facing the same terrorist fears as the United States and have just as much to lose by not supporting American policy as ourselves. The point is that the countries that didn’t support an invasion of Iraq are our allies (so much so in fact that he’s now on a first name basis with his friend Vladimir in Russia – one of the funnier moments of the debate) and were clearly very under-whelmed by the arguments we made to invade. A global litmus test would’ve prevented what will soon be $200 billion in spending, a tarnished international reputation and most importantly the lives of more than 1,000 American soldiers.

ED personally found Kerry’s comments on a global litmus test one of the better moments of the debate. Here’s specifically what he said in the debate:

“No president, through all of American history, has ever ceded, and nor would I, the right to preempt in any way necessary to protect the United States of America. But if and when you do it, Jim, you've got to do in a way that passes the test—that passes the global test—where your countrymen, your people understand fully why you're doing what you're doing, and you can prove to the world that you did it for legitimate reasons.

Here we have our own secretary of state who's had to apologize to the world for the presentation he made to the United Nations. I mean, we can remember when President Kennedy, in the Cuban missile crisis, sent his secretary of state to Paris to meet with [French President Charles] de Gaulle, and in the middle of the discussion to tell them about the missiles in Cuba, [the secretary of state] said, "Here, let me show you the photos." And de Gaulle waved them off, and said, "No, no, no, no. The word of the president of the United States is good enough for me." How many leaders in the world today would respond to us, as a result of what we've done, in that way?”

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Debate Thoughts II

There wasn’t a single question regarding Israel, Palestine and the rest of the Middle East. How can that be!? I have no idea of Kerry’s views on the subject, but would say it’s a fairly important topic, especially after Israel commented that they’d pre-emptively attack Iran if the country proved to have atomic weapons.

Coincidentally (okay, not coincidentally), the Israeli/Palestinian conflict is yet another conflict that has worsened in Bush’s time in office. His “roadmap” has completely disintegrated and Israel has basically decided to act unilaterally by withdrawing from the Gaza Strip. Many arguments can be made from many different views that Israel’s actions are just, but that doesn’t change the fact that the US has been made to look foolish in the process as Ariel Sharon has consistently not listened to anything Bush has to say.


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Initial Debate Thoughts

- How could anyone older than 10 really have thought that Bush “won” the debate last night. He said being president is “hard work” like 100 times… ummm, you’re the PRESIDENT! We KNOW it’s hard work. That doesn’t excuse yourself from making mistake after mistake. And by saying it’s hard work, isn’t that Bush basically saying that he knows he’s screwed up?

- The television and print coverage that’s resulted from the debate is another indication that this so called “liberal media bias” is complete crap. Bush made about three good points the whole night, while the rest of the time he sputtered over his words and re-iterated the same phrases about hard work and Kerry flip-flopping. The broadcast media generally pulled one of the handful of five second clips when Bush wasn’t fumbling for words or repeating himself. While the print media just re-gurgitated the debate and the talking points from both the Republican and Democtratic post-debate speakers.

- “He forgot Poland!” My favorite Bushism of the night. The statement was in response to Kerry’s comment that Bush didn’t develop a true international coalition for Iraq despite his statements to the contrary. Kerry noted the United Kingdom and Australia were really the only countries that provided meaningful support, which elicited the Poland comment from Bush. No offense to Poland, but its not exactly a superpower that acts as a proof point for Bush in defense that he did create a true coalition.

Stay tuned for more thoughts…


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This is U.S. History. I Can See the Globe Right There.

Doesn’t it feel great to spend money? In the midst of a relationship difficulty or after a bad day at work or just to escape a boring, lonely Sunday afternoon, there aren’t too many better prescriptions. It feels good, even if you don’t actually have the money to pay for that new pair of shoes or designer jeans or even a new car.

But often times the next day when you wake up, or when you receive your credit card statement, the guilt sets in… “What was I thinking!” Credit card debt has oft-times been cited as a likely future black hole for the economy as that debt will have to be paid at some point in time.

The Republican-led House and Senate have just encountered such a moment of fiduciary irresponsibility. In a time of record deficits, that are only to grow larger as we fight a war on terror as well as a war on tyranny, our Republican controlled Congress has just announced that they will announce tax cuts that will cost $146 billion to the treasury. What will plug the enormous gap that’ll be left by the tax cuts? Who the hell knows. Congress has no provisions to offset the tax cuts.

Unfortunately, a cure for a lonely Sunday isn’t the reason for the Republican hand-outs. Chalk this one up to election year politics. This almost makes me want to see Bush win the election so he can go through four years of having to figure out a way to deal with all of the enormous problems that he’s created in his four years in office.

The results from a poll recently conducted stated that only 9 percent of respondents would like a Bush second-term to be like the first, while 31 percent said they’d like minor modifications. A whopping 58 percent stated that they’d want major changes. Youch.

Headline Quote Movie of Origin: Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Character: Jeff Spicoli
Setting: It’s the first day of school. Mr. Hand is providing a lecture on the do’s and don’ts of his class. A few minutes into his speech, he notices a knocking on his door and proceeds to let the tardy student, Jeff Spicoli, into the class. Mr. Hand asks Spicoli what he’s doing at which point Spicoli tells Mr. Hand that according to his schedule he’s supposed to be in Mr. Hand’s class… “This is U.S. history. I can see the globe right there.”
The quote is relevant to this story how?: It’s not really relevant, I just needed a break from having the quote match the actual post. But, in a stretch move, the quote is in regards to a U.S. history class. As Ali G was told by a guest, history is happening all the time, and the deficit spending currently occurring will certainly be a noted historical event in the future.

Contact El Duderino at jaipf@hotmail.com.

Quote of the Week

"Those who seek to bestow legitimacy must themselves embody it, and those who invoke international law must themselves submit to it."

- Kofi Annan, head of the United Nations, in a not-so-veiled shot at president George Bush during his speech at the United Nations.

Contact El Duderino at jaipf@hotmail.com.

Like House of Pain Was Gonna Do Anything About It

Lost in all of the attention on Iraq, is the unraveling of political stability in Afghanistan, the place that no one denies was an actual hotbed of terrorist activity. While Iraqi elections are still more than three months off, Afghanistan is slated to hold elections for national office in just three weeks.

Unfortunately, the country is in a state of chaos. In just the past week, both the current president and vice-president, who were both appointed members of office and not elected by the general population, have had near misses with a rocket (the president) and a roadside bomb (the vice president). The beheadings that have become a somewhat common occurrence in Iraq have also increased in Afghanistan, adding to security fears. As a result, European nations have now refused to send election monitors, citing a lack of security.

As the Wall Street Journal reports, the problems are similar to those seen in Iraq… a lack of troops. “In Northern Afghanistan, 320 soldiers patrol a territory 1.5 times the size of Bosnia.” Previous news reports suggest that a vast majority of the country is still being controlled by “warlords” and that production of opium continues to increase.

As is the case in many impoverished American neighborhoods, the drug trade provides an economic option that may not be available otherwise, which increases those regions economic dependence upon the warlords. As a stable government would generally be bad for the drug trade, there’s little motivation for the general populace to support stability. Of course, if the Nato- and American-led forces would’ve had a clearer set of priorities and more resources, the warlords would not have had the opportunity to revitalize opium production post the initial invasion of Afghanistan.

This is yet another example of a failed effort by the current administration. When invading Iraq was still in the stages of debate, many officials and pundits noted that the invasion would appear to deflect American’s attention on Afghanistan. That’s exactly what has happened. Now we’re failing miserably on both fronts.

As the topper, in GW’s speech to the United Nations on Tuesday, he re-iterated that Iraq has been a success and that the spread of democracy is the key to ensuring world peace. I wish I lived in his fantasy world. It seems like a nice place.

Headline Quote Movie of Origin: Swingers
Character: Trent, aka Double-Down
Setting: Upon exiting a Hollywood lounge, Sue is shoulder-bumped by a late 90s Vanilla Ice look-alike. After a brief exchange of hostilities, Sue brandishes a handgun and sends the group of ruffians scurrying. Mikey counters with the line, “Haven’t you seen Boyz N The Hood? Now one of us is going to get shot,” to which Sue replies, “I had to save our rep, bro.” That in turn led to the headline quote, “Like fuckin' House of Pain was gonna do anything about it? He's right, Sue. You don't need to carry a gat.”
The quote is relevant to this story how?: The Bush administration is akin to Sue in this scene and House of Pain is representative of the peoples of this world that don’t share in the same ideals as Bush. GW believes that if we pull a “gat” on them and force them to accept our ideals, our rep will be saved and the American people will be safe and happy. BUT, as John Singleton demonstrated in his movie Boyz N The Hood, the more likely response is a further escalation of violence.

Contact El Duderino at jaipf@hotmail.com.