Wednesday, June 16, 2004

I Was Punched in the Face. What's Your Excuse?

There is a god. The Detroit Pistons have beaten the Lakers to win the NBA Championship. In addition to my general dislike for the Lakers (and Kobe Bryant), it’s good to see the Pistons win for a number of other reasons.

First, Larry Brown has been one of the great coaches of the past 25 years, from a successful playing career at North Carolina under Dean Smith to winning a championship at Kansas to a great run with the Philadelphia 76ers and maybe most impressive of all, he was the last coach to lead the Clippers to the playoffs. Although he clearly didn’t NEED an NBA title to prove his worth, there aren’t too many coaches in any sport that deserve a title more than Larry Brown.

Second, Joe Dumars, the Pistons general manager, has been under the gun all season for selecting 18-year-old European Darko Mlicic over Carmelo Anthony who led Syracuse to a national championship in his only season as an Orangemen. Dumars, knowing he already had his starting small forward of the future in TayShaun Prince, and blessed with an already well balanced roster, decided to take a gamble on the future by selecting a big man, which are much harder to find. Even after the Pistons had made the NBA Finals, the naysayers were out in full force saying that the Pistons would only stand a chance against the mighty Lakers if they had Carmelo Anthony. It’s not a slight on Anthony, but Dumars had a team concept and plan, he stuck to his laurels and it worked out. There’s a reason sports writers are sports writers and not general managers.

Third, and most important in my mind, Dumars and Brown have reversed the ugly NBA trend that superstars win championships. Dumars put his initial stamp on the Pistons by trading the team’s franchise player for Richard Hamilton, a solid yet unspectacular player that’s known as much for his off the ball movement and mid-range shot than any other facet of his game. He also pieced together players such as Ben Wallace, a player that wasn’t even drafted, Chauncey Billups, who had bounced around several teams without much success, and bench players such as Mike James, Mehmet Okur and Elden Campbell.

Although at face value, having a superstar dominated league isn’t such a bad thing, the impact it’s had on the team aspects of the game are undeniable. Nearly every team in the league drafts on the potential that they must find that one superstar that they can build their team around. Instead of building a system through the continuity of a coaching staff, front offices dump head coaches as soon as their supposed superstar players show any discontent. It’s no coincidence that Gregg Popovich and Flip Saunders are two of the longest tenured coaches in the game. They have true superstar players in Tim Duncan and Kevin Garnett, respectively, that have put aside their own egos and have adapted themselves to the systems that their coaches have put in place. Guys like Tracy McGrady and Jason Kidd have yet to discover this aspect of the game.

As an aside, here’s another example of what makes Larry Brown such a class act. After winning his first NBA title, the first words that came out of his mouth in a post-game interview were thanks to Rick Carlisle and his sorrows that Chucky Atkins, Cliff Robinson, John Barry and Michael Curry, former Pistons, couldn’t be a part of the celebration. Great guy.

Headline Quote Movie of Origin: Rushmore
Character: Max Fischer (played by Jason Schwartzman)
Setting: After the opening to Max’s “hit play”, he’s gone to dinner with Herman Blume, Rosemary Cross, a teacher of which he has a crush, and Peter, a friend of Rosemary’s (played by Luke Wilson). After consuming an alcoholic beverage, Max gets abusive towards Peter as being an uninvited guest. It’s at this point that he asks Peter in regards to the noted Wilson nose, “I was punched in the face. What’s your excuse?”
The quote is relevant to this story how?: Rushmore is the story of an underdog who struggles through a portion of life, only to find his groove and come out okay. This seems to sum up the Pistons season. They came out of the gates playing well (analogous to the beginning of Rushmore when Max is on top of his game). Then they went through a brutal stretch in which they lost something like 10 games in a row (analogous to Max getting kicked out of Rushmore, losing his friendship with Ms. Cross, having to go to the public Grover Cleveland High School and ultimately dropping out of school altogether). Finally, after attaining Rasheed Wallace, the Pistons began to jell and ended up winning it all, just like Max finding his soulmate in Margaret Yang.

Contact El Duderino at jaipf@hotmail.com.

Friday, June 11, 2004

Now One of Us Is Going to Get Shot

After the initial wave of stories detailing the Abu Ghraib tortures, there was much debate whether the media was acting responsibly by publishing photos and providing detailed accounts of the abuses. I’m of the belief that the media did indeed act responsibly. The abuses may have continued if the story was not broken and our leaders need to have accountability to the world. If the media provides that accountability, I’m all for it.

But enough is enough already. The Washington Post ran a cover story this morning that it’s discovered that unmuzzled dogs were used to intimidate the prisoners. Now, I’d be as scared as an unmuzzled, vicious dog as the next guy, but is that form of torture worse than what’s already been reported, including various forms of sexual torture? What’s the news here?

We screwed up and it’s clear that this wasn’t an isolated incident from a few rogue soldiers (not that that should let those soldiers off the hook). Maybe it’s time that the media moves on to covering how this was allowed to happen and who should ultimately be responsible… my votes are for Rove or Ashcroft! Those have to be the two creepiest guys in the history of the White House.

On a completely unrelated topic, and I think I’ll devote an entire entry to this at some point, but does anyone else find it odd that Bush picked for his Attorney General a guy that lost to a deceased person in his run for Senate a few years ago. That’s right, John Ashcroft, America’s Top Cop, who was the incumbent at the time, lost to a candidate that had died several weeks prior to the election. You’ve got to be an unbelievably hated person to lose to a dead person, especially when you’re the incumbent.

Looking for a laugh? Check out this link… http://www.whitehouse.org/ask/jashcroft.asp

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A32776-2004Jun10.html

Headline Quote Movie of Origin: Swingers
Character: Mikey (John Favreau)
Setting: Sue has just pulled a gun on “House of Pain” after they “stepped up on him” as he didn’t want to lose his “rep”. Mikey and the rest of the crew are exasperated with Sue’s actions. Mikey says, “haven’t you seen Boyz N The Hood? Now one of us are going to get shot.
The quote is relevant to this story how?: Mostly I just wanted to use a Swingers line, but the Boyz N The Hood theory works. The debate around the media’s responsibility in the Abu Ghraib affair revolved primarily around the fact that showing American abuse of Iraqis and insurgents would lead to an “eye-for-an-eye” retaliation from the Arab world.

Contact El Duderino at jaipf@hotmail.com.

Random Thought of the Week

What's the media's fascination with filming world leaders coming off of planes? And who are those world leaders always waving at when they're walking down the steps of the plane?

Contact El Duderino at jaipf@hotmail.com.

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

We Follow Orders Or People Die

I’m currently reading a book by a conservative writer commenting on why the United States is increasingly being looked on negatively by the rest of the world. The first 40 pages have been chock full of useful and interesting information. I say this just as a means to provide a reason why my columns will be likely be focused largely on issues relating to U.S. foreign policy (as well as installment number two of the OC versus 9-0 debate). The book has, and I’m sure will continue to have, a meaningful impact on my outlook.

Anyhow, with that said, the recent revelation that White House lawyers discussed in detail the circumvention of the Geneva Conventions is one of the most poignant examples of how the United States is completely disregarding its role as the world’s unarguable leader.

As a bit of background, the Geneva Conventions were created as a result of the atrocities of WW II, although similar rules had been in place since the mid-19th century. Those who violate the stipulations of the Geneva Conventions, such as the stipulation in Article 13 of the third convention that POWs must be protected against "insults and public curiosity," risk being tried as war criminals at the International Criminal Court. I think most of us when thinking of war criminals have visions of beret-wearing dictators with an AK-47 draped over their shoulder or the Vietmanese guy with the menacing looking Fu Manchu. The U.S. has now made itself a part of that group! That is a big deal.

I’ve heard a number of commentators argue that the current state of the world, namely in regards to terrorism, changes the rules of the game. One could argue that the current state of the world is in a much better place than we were at during the Cold War, during the Vietnam War or during the Korean War, but that’s not even the point. The point is that if the U.S. felt that the Geneva Conventions were no longer relevant, they had an obligation to work through the international community to change the Conventions.

Rules are useless if no one pays attention to them, especially if the country not paying attention to those rules is the world’s 500-pound gorilla. This sets a dangerous precedent and is maybe the most profound example of policy enacted by the U.S. that have the potential to unwind hundreds of years worth of other rules that act as the fabric of everything we take for granted.

http://slate.msn.com/id/2080617

Headline Quote Movie of Origin: A Few Good Men

Character: Colonel Nathan Jessup, played by Jack Nicholson

Setting: Lieutenant Daniel Kaffee, played by Tom Cruise, is interrogating Col. Jessup over the death of a low-ranking Marine in Guatanamo Bay, Cuba.

The quote is relevant to this story how?: At its most basic level, the movie tackles the topic of personal responsibility and values versus the need to conform to a set of rules that have a potentially larger impact on society at large. The Abu Ghraib controversy follows an analogous path from both the actual act of the torture, as well as in regards to the policy that the US has enacted.

Contact El Duderino at jaipf@hotmail.com.

Friday, June 04, 2004

Nobody Drink the Beer. The Beer Has Gone Bad.

Say what you want about the taste of Miller Lite, but once again, they’re blowing everyone away in the ad campaign department. Working on the premise that Budweiser is the King of Beers and thus can’t be suitable for a democratic nation, Miller Lite is running a campaign as the President of Beers. A few lines I found particularly hilarious…

“I’d like to tell you a story about my grandparents. They had a refrigerator that they knitted, themselves, out of yarn. It was small, not very cold, but it taught me a valuable lesson. Not all of us have King Size refrigerators.”

“That’s unacceptable,” says judge.
“You’re unacceptable.”

“This whole thing is a travesty, a sham, a mockery. It’s a travishamockery.”

“I would ask the King of Beers what he would say to that. Why won’t my opponent debate this issue. Is it because he’s a horse or is it because he’s got blinders on! No peripheral vision. Look at me. Both sides.”

Even more surprising is the Budweiser rebuttal ad in which they state that Miller Lite was bought by a foreign company and is thus ineligible for the presidency. Ta-dow. How you like me now.

Headline Quote Movie of Origin: Can’t Hardly Wait

Character: William Lichter

Setting: Bill, in a plot to embarrass his tormenter, Mike Dexter, attends the last high school blowout bash of the year. Having never consumed an alcoholic beverage before, after tasting the keg beer, let’s out the headline quote.

The quote is relevant to this story how?: The article is about beer. The quote is about beer. Connection.

Contact El Duderino at jaipf@hotmail.com.

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

And I’m No Slouch Myself

A refreshing John Kerry article, resulting from an hour interview, was published in the Sunday edition of the Washington Post. It was the first article or broadcast clip I’ve seen in which Kerry came across as just speaking his mind as opposed to “politicking”.

In the article, he touched on a few taboo foreign policy subjects, such as what our role in the world should really be. According to the article, “Sen. John F. Kerry indicated that as president he would play down the promotion of democracy as a leading goal in dealing with Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, China and Russia, instead focusing on other objectives that he said are more central to the United States' security.”

From strictly a political standpoint, given the current situation in which patriotism and the spread of democracy are commonly used to defend our invasion of Iraq, statements such as those by Kerry are likely to further alienate him from the far right. Previously, he seemed to not want to ruffle those feathers, despite the fact that no matter what he says or does, there’s a certain population that’s just not going to like him or any Democrat for that matter.

On a personal level, I’m happy to hear that the spread of American ideals isn’t the goal for at least a portion of our political elite. It seems that the more we try to exact our ideals on the rest of the world, the more the rest of the world hates us. Maybe it’s time to try a different tact, which appears to be what Kerry is proposing.

Although I’m in favor of his statements and policy, I can already envision the ad campaign portraying Kerry as un-patriotic – similar to the way he was portrayed for throwing his medals (or ribbons) over the wall during the infamous anti-war demonstration in the 70s. I’ve never understood why and how there’s a perception that wars are a patriotic action and anyone that personally doesn’t abdicate the use of force in a given situation is by default unpatriotic.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A1443-2004May29.html

Headline Quote Movie of Origin: Caddyshack
Character: Judge Smails
Setting: Judge Smails trying to convince Ty Webb (Chevy Chase) to play golf with him. Ty Webb responds with, “ Don't sell yourself short Judge, you're a tremendous slouch.”
The quote is relevant to this story how?: John Kerry reminds me of Judge Smails a bit. They’re both Old Money, have that tight jaw look and a fakeness that’s hard to nail down. And Kerry up to this point seems to be a bit in the “don’t forget about me” role.






Contact El Duderino at jaipf@hotmail.com.