No, Donny, these men are nihilists. There's nothing to be afraid of.

It would be very un-Dude for this site not to at least make a mention of the recent Artestian affair in Detroit. The story has been covered from just about every angle, so ED doesn't really have anything unique to add. But, of all the articles, two sum up the incident perfectly, one from Slate and one from the Sports Guy (links below).

To summarize those articles with a few thoughts from ED... this isn't the sign that the end days are upon us and that the NBA is on its last stand. No one died. No one even got seriously injured. The NBA ratings will go up from this incident, not down. Pistons fans are a bunch of meathead idiots but doesn't this show that the NBA does have passionate fans, not the opposite?

Artest officially has an anger problem. You could almost see him trying to hold himself back after the initial fracas with Ben Wallace. Then after he initially tackled Corey Haim in the stands and realized what he did, you could see him try to reel in the devil on his shoulder urging him to kill someone… “ronny, see that guy over there with the black shirt. He said your momma dresses you in combat boots. Rip his head off. Do it. Do it.” Then after he lost it again a few seconds later after getting hit from behind…

(quick digression, the guy that hit Artest from behind was the same guy who threw the first cup at Artest, thus starting Smackdown at the Palace 2005. This guy is on tape throwing the cup. It's not really up for debate. Anyhow, this guy had a moustache or some sort of facial hair during the game and was wearing a hat. He held a press conference yesterday in which he basically said that he didn't do anything and wasn't involved. At the press conference, he shaved off his facial hair, took off the hat, was wearing sunglasses and had on an ‘I’m guilty’ leather coat... very Dr. Richard Kimble of him).

… he went berserk for a few more minutes before the angel on the left shoulder again took over the devil on the right shoulder. Once again, he retreats to his happy place (think midgets playing horsey on broomsticks and lovely ladies sipping pina coladas on lawn chairs) before a chubby wannabe tough guy with a Pistons jersey and gold chain confronts Ronny on the court. Artest gives the guy a Mr. Sandman right hook. Game over. While it was nice that Artest showed several moments of restraint in the whole affair, what it really showed is that at the base soul of Ron Artest is a raging lunatic.

Slate… http://slate.com/id/2110079/.
Sports Guy… http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/cowbell/041122

Headline Quote Movie of Origin: The Big Lebowski
Character: Walter Sobchak
Setting: The nihilists have come to collect from The Dude the million dollars they’ve been promised by Bunny Lebowski. The Dude explains that there never was a million dollars and that they’d been had. This doesn’t seem to deter the nihilist and they decide to take physical actions to rob The Dude, Walter and Donny.
The quote is relevant to this story how?: The ensuing melee that erupts between the nihilists (we believe in nothing, Lebowski) and The Dude and friends is eerily similar to Smackdown at the Palace 2005, minus the basketball players, fans, television monitors and pepper spray. Oh, and no one died at Smackdown at the Palace. But otherwise it was quite similar.

Contact El Duderino at jaipf@hotmail.com.