Mini-Me, Stop Humping the Laser

William Buckley, whose largely credited with jump starting and pressing the conservative movement over the past fifty years through his magazine, National Review, has called it quits and is handing over the reins to a board of five members.  While this news in and of itself isn’t much of a story for El Duderino, it has provided an opportunity to look at what conservativism meant originally and what it has become – which our friends at the New York Times have done via a July 17 article. 

The original intent of the conservative movement was to fight communism, diminish the federal government and uphold “traditionalism” in social affairs.  As the Times notes, “that formulation held together for five decades” until the fall of communism, and interestingly enough, the end of big government, through actions such as welfare reform that occurred during the Clinton administration (yes, both houses were indeed controlled by Republicans). 

So now what?  The mantras of the conservative movement have become irrelevant in many ways, yet the party still needs a rallying cry.  The GOP has seemed to grab hold of traditionally Democratic ideals, such as a federally funded prescription drug bill, pushed the broad support of a $256 billion federally funded highway improvement bill, enacted education reform and has taken on the cause of immigrant workers.  The Bush administration has also pushed foreign policy that reeks of imperialism, in a striking contrast to the isolationism that had dominated the party’s doctrine for decades.

So what’s El Duderino getting at you ask?  Well, either Bush is a Democrat disguised in sheep’s clothing or his entire presidency has been aimed at minimizing all of the Democratic strengths.  ED is going with the latter.  It’s certainly been a successful strategy in confusing the living beejeezus out of the Democratic Party.  Other than the war and the economy, albeit two fairly significant issues, the Kerry/Edwards party hasn’t been able to communicate a single policy that differentiates themselves from Bush/Cheney. 
 
Yet there’s something sinister and sleezy about pushing an agenda on the sole ground that it will help in a re-election bid.  It’s surprising that more conservatives haven’t taken the administration on for its views on the role of the Federal government, although many pundits have noted that the White House is seemingly getting much more pushback from those Republicans in the House and Senate.   

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/07/17/arts/17CONS.final.html
 
Headline Quote Movie of Origin: Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
Character: Dr. Evil
Setting: While Dr. Evil shows off his new tool of world destruction, his three-foot tall protégé, affectionately described as Mini-Me, displays his enthusiasm and love for the weapon of mass destruction by giving it a little of the old in-out, in-out.  Dr. Evil, whose trying to show off the laser to his minions, asks Mini-Me if he couldn’t stop his actions via the headline quote.
The quote is relevant to this story how?: Dr. Evil has dreams of world denomination and is constantly plotting new schemes, in this instance a laser that he will use to blackmail the world for “beelyons” of dollars.  In this analogy, Karl Rove and Dick Cheney alternately play the role of Dr. Evil.  President Bush plays the role of Mini-Me and the American public plays the role of Dr. Evil’s minions. 

Mini-Me (aka G.W.) doesn’t really know what’s going on but he’s got urges that need to be expressed.  Dr. Evil (Cheney/Rove) has elaborate plans for controlling the world and making loads of money in the process, but they tend to be ill-conceived.  The minions, namely number two and Scott Evil, have alternate ideas that are less elaborate but would probably work just as well, i.e. “go back in time and shoot Austin Powers while he’s on the crapper or something”.
 
Contact El Duderino at jaipf@hotmail.com.